MoFate's Drop in the Bucket List: India

So before Delhites read this and start fuming (since we're so agro most of the time anyways), relax - this post is purely for expats/non-Delhi people who want to do bougie things in Delhi. This post will not tell you the best dhaba on any national highway, it will not help you find the best Dehli belly inducing food in town, and it will certainly not tell you where to go clubbing in Delhi (not sure why you'd ever want to anyways...) Let me also preface this post with the fact that the primary purpose of our visit was to see our baby nephew Angad.

So, we found ourselves in Delhi in the miserably hot month of May once again. It was a 7 day trip that consisted mainly of lunch outings, a few dinners, and seeing family. But since Fate and Mohit were in Delhi in 2015 and 2014 for about 2 weeks each time, we'll include some advice from those visits as well. Instead of writing out our slightly boring 7 day itinerary, we'll list some must see places and must eat places instead.

Must See Places:

Humayun's Tomb
Qtub Minar
Lotus Temple - don't be the noob that breaks the silence inside the temple
India Gate and Parliament area - to see the cleanest part of Delhi
Jama Masjid/Chandni Chowk (on Sunday ONLY ONCE)
Delhi Haat - for some trinket shopping
State emporiums in CP - for some quality curio shopping
Hauz Khas - for witnessing some tween canoodling in 500 years old ruins

Must Eat At Restaurants:

Nizams in Connaught place for kathi rolls
Suruchi's Rajasthani in Karol Bagh
Flyp bar for some live music in CP, even on the weekdays
Gopala for ras gullas in Dwarka (yes, this is where Mohit's parents live - Dwarka, not Gopala)
Unplugged Courtyard for Bombay Tiffin in CP

Advice if you visit

Riding Ola or Uber is the best way to get a cab in Delhi. Felt perfectly safe and just some elementary Hindi skills go a long way, though we think even just speaking English should work out fine. The best part is that they follow the GPS and the prices are fixed. You are almost guaranteed to be ripped off my regular cabs and autos.
The Airport Line Metro is a great option for getting to your hotel. The maximum cost ~60 rupees, runs straight to the airport, is fully A/Ced (including the stations), and is much less traveled than the regular metro. The automatic ticket machines take both cash and card.
You should expect to pay ~20 rupees for a 1L bottle of water at street carts.
Don't drive out there (anywhere) between 5:30pm - 8:30pm. It's just not worth it.
Most people still wear jeans in the summer time, even when the temperature is ~110 F. But if you need to wear shorts, like Mohit, go for it. Just be okay with people (usually men) shamelessly stare at you whereever you go. Luckily, most restaurants and bars don't care if you're wearing shorts. Not idea about the clubs though.
Getting a SIM card outside of the airport can be pain if you don't have an Indian ID. So get it at the airport. AirTel and Vodafone have worked well for us. Pre-paid is the way to go in India, even for the locals.

Fun facts

Google Maps has adapted to include the phrase "despite usual traffic" in all its routes. Advanced machine learning algorithms were needed to teach Google Maps that there's always traffic in Delhi...
Be prepared to go through a metal detector at every mall and shop. You might think the security people aren't really doing anything and its pretty useless. You might be right.
Delhi Police loves to put up barriers that create a bottleneck in the road and not checking any of the vehicles as they drive by. I have so much love for Delhi Police...
Our best 2-wheeler sighting was four family members on one bike. Try to find the elusive five when the baby is hanging off the side.
While the proliferation of tp has helped the restaurant bathroom situation, tp is now also used as napkins during a meal.